Every f*****g day, I have to deal with the pressure I put on myself, to
outdo myself. But I can’t ask for help, I can’t admit I’m weak. I’m
going back on my words, I’m going back on who I used to be. I can’t take
it anymore. Every day I wage a war on myself because I’d rather die
than let this win over me. I can’t let this win over me. How can I be
expected to help anyone else, when I can’t even help myself? Call me a
hypocrite and I’ll be the first one to agree. I am no longer the prophet
I once claimed to be. I’m stuck between trying to find where I stand,
and what it is I stand for. I am no one.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Yo Check Me Out
I love Chinese food. I love food in general... I love screamo. I love action and violence. I have a sense of humor. I play videogames if not sleeping or going to school. I used to live in Saudi Arabia, although a lot of people apparently never believe me when I say it. My favorite TV show is Dexter NOT Dexter's Lab. I am a very laid back person. I think a lot about a lot of things. I really hate poetry. I hate sweaters. I really hate My Little Pony. My favorite game to play at the moment is either F.E.A.R. 3 or Nazi Zombies.
Optimist by Counterparts
I never asked for anyone to listen, and I never asked for anyone to take
my words to heart. I’ve let myself become a target based on nothing
more than expression. I will not lie to others, and I won’t lie to
myself. If you’re searching for safety you can find it somewhere else,
and I won’t mind. I’ve never seen myself as optimistic, so this should
come as no surprise. No one feels good forever. Not even me. But this
doesn’t give us an excuse to allow ourselves to become useless like the
rest. We will turn our hatred into something to be proud of. We will
make life worth living.
Alone
I'm an 18-year-old senior in high school living with my parents. I play videogames and sleep all day. There's two weeks left of school and I'm looking for summer jobs to apply for. I'm thinking of majoring in behavioral science when I go to college.
I wake up one morning to find my parents are gone, like they vanished into thin air. Then when I leave the house I come to realize that everyone else is gone. All that's left is traces of their clothes in their beds, as if it happened overnight. I then search for anyone else that could be alive.
It's been years. I've grown a beard and am traveling through California. Then I come across a woman. She's all by herself and she's a couple years younger than myself. I haven't interacted with another human for over 10 years.
What kind of person is this woman?
How will I react to this encounter?
How will she react?
What's gonna happen next?...
I wake up one morning to find my parents are gone, like they vanished into thin air. Then when I leave the house I come to realize that everyone else is gone. All that's left is traces of their clothes in their beds, as if it happened overnight. I then search for anyone else that could be alive.
It's been years. I've grown a beard and am traveling through California. Then I come across a woman. She's all by herself and she's a couple years younger than myself. I haven't interacted with another human for over 10 years.
What kind of person is this woman?
How will I react to this encounter?
How will she react?
What's gonna happen next?...
I Remember
I remember when I discovered how to talk in my head.
I remember when my Bendy Santa Clause toy broke.
I remember getting my first cut from my cupboard drawer.
I remember when I had my first crush.
I remember when I broke my cousin's bikini top while she was wearing it.
I remember when I got my arm stuck between the car door and the seat.
I remember when I would bring my toys to bed with me and wake up the next morning to find them gone, and my mom would just say: "Oh they just went on a vacation over to the neighbors house."
I remember when my two best friends in elementary school told me they both had a crush on me and how awesome and awkward it was.
I remember when my Bendy Santa Clause toy broke.
I remember getting my first cut from my cupboard drawer.
I remember when I had my first crush.
I remember when I broke my cousin's bikini top while she was wearing it.
I remember when I got my arm stuck between the car door and the seat.
I remember when I would bring my toys to bed with me and wake up the next morning to find them gone, and my mom would just say: "Oh they just went on a vacation over to the neighbors house."
I remember when my two best friends in elementary school told me they both had a crush on me and how awesome and awkward it was.
Dialogue
Two men are driving in a car during the night time while it's raining and there's country music playing on the radio. The vast fields of the countryside pass by as they cruise into the night...
Man1-"I think we ran over something."
Man2-*snicker* "What makes you say that?"
Man1-"It smells really bad."
Man2-*sniff sniff* "Aw, you're right! Must have been just barely a second ago."
Man1-"Ugh. It's really bad..." *holds nose*
Man2-*cracks window* "Here we go."
Man1-"OH MY--! It's coming from outside, it smells so much worse!"
Man2-"S**t, yeah that's bad." *holds nose and rolls back up the window*
Man1-"Why on earth does it smell like that?! That's nothing I've ever smelt before."
Man2-"Whoa. What's that? What IS that?!"
Man2, the designated driver, suddenly comes to an urgent stop in the middle of the road. Both men step out of their car into the cold moist atmosphere of the light rain. What sat before them completely blocking off the road was a massive heap of what appeared to be mutilated corpses of people stacked up about two stories high. Man1 leans over to throw up his dinner all over the cold wet asphalt he stood upon as Man2 just stands there in awe at how big the pile of corpses was, the country music still playing in the background from the car's radio. How on earth did something like this come to be? And why did it happen?...
Man1-"I think we ran over something."
Man2-*snicker* "What makes you say that?"
Man1-"It smells really bad."
Man2-*sniff sniff* "Aw, you're right! Must have been just barely a second ago."
Man1-"Ugh. It's really bad..." *holds nose*
Man2-*cracks window* "Here we go."
Man1-"OH MY--! It's coming from outside, it smells so much worse!"
Man2-"S**t, yeah that's bad." *holds nose and rolls back up the window*
Man1-"Why on earth does it smell like that?! That's nothing I've ever smelt before."
Man2-"Whoa. What's that? What IS that?!"
Man2, the designated driver, suddenly comes to an urgent stop in the middle of the road. Both men step out of their car into the cold moist atmosphere of the light rain. What sat before them completely blocking off the road was a massive heap of what appeared to be mutilated corpses of people stacked up about two stories high. Man1 leans over to throw up his dinner all over the cold wet asphalt he stood upon as Man2 just stands there in awe at how big the pile of corpses was, the country music still playing in the background from the car's radio. How on earth did something like this come to be? And why did it happen?...
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